A scientist selling a book wants people to believe that the pain people experience on breaking up a relationship is caused by changing chemicals in the brain. This claim is another example of Scientists Being Stoopid.
Human beings have what is commonly referred to as “energy”. This energy can leave the body and enter into another body where it influences the second body. That is exactly what happens between two human beings in a relationship. The energy of each person leaves their body and enters into and entwines with the body of the other human being in the relationship, or the energy of just one of the human beings in the relationship enters into and entwines with the body of the other human being in the relationship.
The reason “breaking up a relationship” is painful is basically due to exactly what the phrase says. The “breaking up” of the energy linkage between the two human beings.
An easy way to visualize what is going on is to think of two human beings in a relationship as two pieces of a puzzle. When two puzzle pieces are pulled apart, one of the puzzle pieces has a gap in it where the other puzzle piece connected it to it. When two human beings “break up”, a void or “gap” is created in one or both of the human beings in the relationship. It is that void or “gap” in the energy body that causes the pain associated with “breaking up” a relationship.
Scientist R Stoopid. Sometimes they are stoopid on purpose to create false beliefs in people which make the people easier to control because of their faulty world view, and sometimes well meaning scientists r stoopid because they do not know any better. Regardless of the reason why Scientists R Stoopid, it is always best for any person to immediately assume any proclamation or claim by a scientist is stoopid. It is almost always safer and more accurate to trust one’s own judgement about whatever issue some scientist is making a proclamation or claim about.
That advice of course applies mainly to proclamations and claims involving human beings, their reactions, and their motivations. It is likely that a scientist making claims about something such as how a metal or chemical reacts in a particular way when interacting with other metals or chemicals for instance, are more correct than the ideas or feelings a layman or untrained person would have about such interactions.
It is necessary to say that there might be a correlation between changing chemical levels in the brain as the body of a person involved in a relationship breakup reacts to the loss of the energy linkage that took place when they were in the relationship, but those chemical levels are not the main cause of the negative reactions associated with a relationship breakup.
The news story describing the release of the scientist’s book is reprinted below.
wWhen two human beings are in a relationship tHave you ever found yourself in the foetal position on the sofa for days on end, curtains drawn, phone unanswered, moving only to haphazardly wipe the snot and tears from your face? All that has happened is you’ve been made aware that you won’t be seeing a person you had a lot of interaction with much any more. That’s it. So why does it leave you reeling for weeks, months, even for the rest of your life, in some cases?
Humans seem primed to seek out and form monogamous romantic relationships, and this is reflected in a number of weird things the brain does when we end up falling for someone. Attraction is governed by many factors. Many species develope secondary sex characteristics, which are features that occur during sexual maturity but that aren’t directly involved in the reproductive process; for instance, a moose’s antlers or a peacock’s tail. They are impressive and show how fit and healthy the individual creature is, but they don’t do much beyond that.
Humans are no different. As adults, we develop many features that are apparently largely for physically attracting others: the deep voice, enlarged frames and facial hair of men, or the protruding breasts and pronounced curves of women. None of these things are “essential”, but in the distant past, some of our ancestors decided that is what they wanted in a partner, and evolution took over from there. But then we end up with something of a chicken-and-egg scenario with regards to the brain, in that the human brain inherently finds certain features attractive because it has evolved to do so. Which came first, the attraction or the primitive brain’s recognition of it? Hard to say.
It is important, however, to differentiate between a desire for sex, AKA lust, and the deeper, more personal attraction and bonding we associate with romance and love, things more often sought and found with long-term relationships. People can (and frequently do) enjoy purely physical sexual interactions with others that they have no real “fondness” for apart from an appreciation for their appearance, and even that is not essential. Sex is a tricky thing to pin down with the brain, as it underlies much of our adult thinking and behaviour.
But this isn’t really about lust; we’re talking more about love, in the romantic sense, for one specific individual. There is a lot of evidence to suggest the brain processes love differently. Studies by Bartels and Zeki suggest that when individuals who describe themselves as in love are shown images of their romantic partners, there is raised activity (not seen in lust or more platonic relationships) in a network of brain regions including the medial insula, anterior cingulate cortex, caudate nucleus and putamen.
There is also lower activity in the posterior cingulate gyrus and in the amygdala. The posterior cingulate gyrus is often associated with painful emotion perception, so it makes sense that your loved one’s presence would shut this down a bit. The amygdala processes emotions and memory, but often for negative things such as fear and anger, so again, it makes sense that it’s not so active now. People in committed relationships can often seem more relaxed and less bothered about day-to-day annoyances, regularly coming across as “smug” to the independent observer.
One type of chemical often associated with attraction are pheromones, specific substances given off in sweat that other individuals detect and that alter their behaviour. While human pheromones are regularly referred to (you can seemingly buy sprays laced with them if you’re looking to increase your sexual appeal), there is currently no definitive evidence that humans have specific pheromones that influence attraction and arousal. The brain may often be an idiot, but it is not so easily manipulated.
However, being in love seems to elevate dopamine activity in the reward pathway, meaning we experience pleasure in our partner’s presence, almost like a drug. And oxytocin is often referred to as the “love hormone” or similar, which is a ridiculous oversimplification of a complex substance, but it does seem to be elevated in people in relationships, and it has been linked to feelings of trust and connection in humans.
The flexibility of the brain means that, in response to all this deep and intense stuff, it adapts to expect it. And then it ends. Consider everything the brain invests in sustaining a relationship, all the changes it undergoes, all the value it places on being in one. If you remove all this in one fell swoop, the brain is going to be seriously negatively affected. All the positive sensations it has grown to expect suddenly cease, which is incredibly distressing for an organ that doesn’t deal with uncertainty and ambiguity well at all. Studies have shown that a relationship breakup activates the same brain regions that process physical pain.
Addiction and withdrawal can be very disruptive and damaging to the brain, and a not dissimilar process is happening here. This isn’t to say the brain doesn’t have the ability to deal with a breakup. It can put everything back together eventually, even if it’s a slow process. Some experiments showed that specifically focusing on the positive outcomes of a breakup can cause more rapid recovery and growth. And, just sometimes, science and cliches match up, and things really do get better with time.