Sep 222010
 
The news story that is the subject of this blog entry is a scientific study that found “Swearing can reduce the feeling of pain”.

Of course swearing can reduce the feeling of pain. That is why swearing is such a universal reaction to pain among human beings wherever they are found. Only people as stoopid as scientists would have to perform a study to “discover” what everyone already knows.

What is really sad about these scientists is their hypothesis about why swearing can reduce feelings of pain.

“”We think it could be part of the flight or fight response. In the volunteers who swore, we also found they had an elevated heart rate, so it could be increasing their aggression levels.

Increased aggression has been shown to reduce people’s sensitivity to pain, so it could be swearing is helping this process.”

Huh? What real information is included in that statement? “Increased aggression has been shown to reduce sensitivity to pain”. Why? Exactly how does increased aggression reduce sensitivity to pain?

Who knows? Scientists don’t seem to know or they would have put the exact reason down, wouldn’t they? Wouldn’t they say something like “Aggression raises the levels of chemical X. Chemical X reduces feelings of pain”, if they really knew why aggression reduces feelings of pain?

The fact is scientists have no idea why swearing reduces feelings of pain. The meaningless statement “aggression reduces feelings of pain”, is a way to hide the fact they don’t know why swearing reduces feelings of pain.

The reason why swearing reduces feelings of pain is trivial. Why scientists have not “discovered” this reason can only be because they are incredibly stoopid.

The human body is a pressure vessel like a tea kettle or a pressure cooker. Every area of the human body is designed to operate under a certain pressure.

When a human being experiences pain, they lose pressure. Proof of that statement is the universal human reaction to pain. When a human being is made to feel pain, they always scream or make some other verbal utterance. Those verbal utterances are the sign of pressure from the internal part of the body being lost, just like the whistle of a boiling tea kettle, is a sign of the loss of pressure from inside of the tea kettle.

Swearing reduces feelings of pain by reinflating the body back to it’s normal pressure.

Before a human being can swear they must first inhale air. Just the act of inhaling pumps up the pressure within the body by some amount. Then when they swear, the human being must apply muscular pressure to the air to force it out of the body.

When the body applies muscular pressure to the air to force the air out for swearing, the air presses back against the inside of the body with increased pressure until it is expelled by the mouth.

At the same time that compressed air is being forced out of the mouth in a swear word, it is also pressing against the part of the body that is experiencing pain. and transferring pressure to that part of the body. Just like the swear word is transferring the pressure of the air compressed within the body through the mouth to the outside world.

Another characteristic of swearing is that human beings usually swear multiple times. That characteristic reinforces the claim by Happeh Theory that swearing reduces feelings of pain by reinflating the body with pressure.

When a person pumps up a bicycle tire, what do they have to do? They have to push the pump multiple times. One press of the pump only adds a little pressure to the bicycle tire. It takes multiple pumps to get the tire to the required high pressure.

The exact same reasoning is why human beings in pain swear multiple times. Swearing one time only replaces a small amount of the pressure the pain has caused them to lose. It requires multiple reinflations via multiple swearing to raise the bodies pressure back up to where it should be, just like it takes multiple pumps of a bicycle pump to reinflate a bicycle tire to it’s proper pressure.

How could scientists miss something so trivial? The subject of pressure is covered in high school chemistry and physics. The subject of pressure is then repeated in college chemistry and physics. If scientists had to take all of those courses to become professional scientists, why is it they can’t figure out that swearing reduces feelings of pain by pumping the body up with air pressure?

Because Scientists R Stoopid. What other reason could their be?

The original news story is reprinted next.

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Scientists have discovered that uttering swear words can help to lessen the feeling of physical pain.

The study by researchers at Keele University found that volunteers were able to withstand pain for longer when they swore compared to when they used words which were not offensive.

Dr Richard Stephens, who conducted the study at the university’s school of psychology, believes it may explain why swearing is still common place in languages around the world.

He suggests that swearing could have evolved as a way of raising aggression levels and reducing the feeling of pain to allow our ancestors to flee or fight back when attacked by predators.

He said: “We think it could be part of the flight or fight response. In the volunteers who swore, we also found they had an elevated heart rate, so it could be increasing their aggression levels.

“Increased aggression has been shown to reduce people’s sensitivity to pain, so it could be swearing is helping this process.”

The researchers, whose findings are published in the journal NeuroReport, tested 64 students’ tolerance to pain by asking them to submerge their hand in a tub of ice water for as long as they could while repeating a series of swear words of their choice.

They were then asked to carry out the task again while repeating non-offensive words they would use to describe a table. One subject, however, had to be excluded from the trial because they could not suggest any swear words.

They found that volunteers who swore were able to keep their hands submerged in the water for an average of 40 seconds longer. When questioned about their perceived pain they also rated it as being lower.

The researchers also measured the volunteers’ heart rate and found that it increased while swearing.

Dr Stephens said that the result was the opposite of what they had expected as most psychologists suggest that swearing is a symptom of “catastrophism”, where there the drama-queen inside everyone takes over.

He said: “Swearing is quite an emotional form of language and it is an almost universal human linguistic phenomenon.

“When my wife was in labour with our daughter she felt the need to f and blind at one point, but was very apologetic afterwards. The midwife said they were used to that kind of language on the delivery ward, so it got me thinking.”

“Our research shows one potential reason why swearing has developed and why is persists.”

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